WHAT AM I ?

i feel so untrue
i feel so non existant
i feel so lonely
i feel like i just don't matter
not like a raindrop that fills the ocean
not like dew drops that glitters at dawn
not like stars that jewel the skynot like leaves that drape a tree
not like a flower that a plant boasts
i belong to the flooded watersthat are but undesirable
i might be in the hailstorm that are so dreaded
i blow in the storn that lives to kill
i am the grief that threads a funeral
i am the lightening that know anly to burn
i am not the touch that heelsbut the grief that one feels
i am not a smiling face
dont give me any praise
i bring disgrace
i am the tear that never dries
i am the feeling that never hides
i am the spirit of loss
nothing but a lopsided cross
a blanket of grief covering the scene
floods of sadness drowning peopletrauma of loss sucking you from within
the acidulous tears that hurt ur eyes
the painfull lonliness that never leaves u alone
the loyal disloyalty that greets u at every door
the persistant change that people show
the love with which the hatred sticks to u
the grounded flight i fly everydaythe dissatisfaction in the daily satisfaction
the laughter thats dark bloated with dispair
the forbidden morbid depression thats tempting
the natural desires turned sacrosant
the stagnant walk masked with mobility
the numness thats killing me from within.....